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Only 8% of new year’s resolutions are achieved and the average person makes the same resolution ten times over without success. How is that possible? Insufficient motivation, limited know-how and a lack of support often play a part, but there is an additional, more important factor; our values.

There is often a misalignment between our stated goals and what we truly value; a misalignment that is typically unexamined and even unconscious.

What we truly value runs our life, so if our values are misaligned with our goals, our values will win every time. The simplest way to become conscious of what we value today is to look at how we actually spend our time right now.

We may have goals to be a great partner or parent, but if we consistently prioritize work over our kids’ school performances or date nights, then maybe we may really value our career, or achievement, or our reputation, or financial security. This is not about right and wrong, it’s ultimately about making sure we align our behavior with what we truly value.

This is why we should always ask “what do I really value?” before we ask “what do I really want?”

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