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Think of any important relationship in your life – personal or professional. Now make sure you’re sitting down, because I’m about to tell you something that should terrify you.

Only one-third of the expectations that person has of you are both conscious and spoken. That is, they know what they expect of you, and they tell you what they expect of you.

Another third of their expectations are conscious but unspoken. They know what they expect of you, but they don’t tell you what they expect of you. Perhaps they think you should know, or maybe they’re scared to tell you. Either way, they know what they expect of you, but you don’t know.

But here’s the really scary bit. The final third of their expectations are not only unspoken; they’re also unconscious. That is; they don’t know what they expect of you, until you don’t give it to them.

Until you uncover your stakeholders’ real expectations, you don’t have a game you can win, so your goal is to make all expectations conscious and spoken.

How do you do that? It’s actually quite simple. Whenever any stakeholder expresses a request, desire or expectation of you, follow up with three magic questions; what does that mean/how would you know/what would you see if I delivered that?

Keep asking those three questions until they articulate something that is observable or deliverable by you. Only then do you have a game you can win.

INSPIRATION FROM OTHERS

“There’s no straighter road to success than exceeding expectations one day at a time.” – Robin Crow

“Expectation is the mother of all frustration.” – Antonio Banderas

QUESTIONS TO REFLECT ON

• How often are you surprised by the expectations others have of you?
• In retrospect, how diligently do you seek to understand others’ expectations?
• How would your life be different if you knew precisely what others expect of you?
  

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